Vol. 2, Tip #16; Learn to be Dependable

It’s really ironic that I’m making a come back to posting videos after such a long hiatus and the topic is about being dependable! haha!! What can I tell you? You can depend on me to always be unpredictable? ;) But seriously, I’m not even sure if anyone has noticed that I haven’t posted since last summer, but the point is that if you know that people are depending on you, there’s nothing worse for your reputation than to let them down…and even more worse, if you do it over and over. What’s going to happen is that no one will take you seriously, people will call you a “flake” behind your back, and important jobs or responsibilities that could have otherwise been yours, will go to someone else who understands the importance of being dependable.

I admit, dependability is not “a sexy” trait. I can see how dependable and boring might, for some people, be interchangeable, but the fact is that unless you want to spend your life as a chronic under-achiever, being picked last for fun projects and challenging tasks, you may want to take this whole “dependability” thing very seriously.

For people with ADHD, this is a really significant area of struggle. Our inability to stay on track, on time and properly calculate our resources means that more often than not, we are letting someone down. What can we do about that? Well, for starters, be very honest with the person who is depending on you about your challenges. Express your desire to do exactly what you say you’re going to do, but also ask for help and accountability to stay on track. While people without ADHD might not need micromanagement when it comes to getting things done, people with ADHD can definitely be helped if someone checks in with them on a regular basis to make sure progress is being made on the task or project. Does it feel slightly demeaning to have someone micromanaging you? Possibly, but the alternative is that things don’t get done and people are left frustrated and disappointed. Frankly, I’m to the point where I welcome accountability because I know it will help me stay on task.

If you are the kind of person that struggles with being dependable, how do you deal with it?

Put Your Heart into Everything You Do!

If you want to be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic, Dale Carnegie is credited with saying. What I get out of that is that we shouldn’t wait for our external circumstances to dictate how happy or satisfied we are going to be in our day-to-day lives. We have to make a decision to embrace life, to pour our hearts into every minute of our day, even if sometimes we don’t feel like it.

I’m a big believer that you get out of life exactly what you put in. And I will admit that I have those days when finding a reason to act enthusiastic about anything is hard. I think the key though is to not let a downhearted attitude become a lifestyle. I know that many people have very few reasons to look forward to their day when they wake up, but I’m convinced, through personal experience, that your day will be much better if you look for the positive in every task, and in every interaction. Today, the 4th of July, is as good a day as any to declare independence from a woe-is-me attitude and put your heart into living your best life!

The Russian sent me this the other day. I watched it and thought to myself “homeschooling hackschooling makes a lot of sense”, especially with my job. Hmmmm…

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” ~ John Lennon, Musician (1940 – 1980)

Vol. 2 Tip #15; Learn to be Content and Enjoy Life

Life is not perfect. And it never will be, but the key to enjoying the life you have, as imperfect as it may be, is to learn to be content and fully live in the present moment. Of course, this is much harder to do than it sounds and takes most of us years to get better at doing. Also, being content does not equal settling for less than what you’re capable of, but instead it means taking your focus off what everyone else is doing and making the most of what you have. Following your own path, making decisions based on your strengths and interests, and not trying to follow some else’s success formula. Are there common elements that successful people share? Sure, but probably one of the most important ones is that they didn’t sit around feeling sorry for themselves, but went after the things they wanted to accomplish.

Learning to be content and making the daily decision to stop looking at your neighbor’s much greener yard is hard. Start practicing these skills today and please, enjoy life! It’s quite short you know. :)

 

Vol. 2 Tip #14 Humility; More than just an old-fashioned concept

In the era of funeral selfies (yes! Funeral!) and shameless self-promotion in every shape, form and size possible, humility seems like a quaint old-fashioned concept not designed for the modern times. I happen to think though, that humility is essential to the kind of success that is long-lasting and meaningful. Please don’t confuse “humility” with being a mild-mannered “yes” man or woman with low self-esteem, but rather think of it as a quality that allows you to spend as little time as possible dwelling on your own accomplishments, focusing instead on the accomplishments of others.

Collecting used LEGO for our Build It Again Bricks project!

Some of you may know that last year I collected a bunch of used LEGO bricks and partnered with Mercy Road Church and a local elementary school to do a free assembly and give a box filled with LEGOs to the neediest students at the school. The whole undertaking was a huge success! This year I’m trying to expand to two schools! So if you’re spring cleaning and thinking about dropping off that box of LEGOs at your local resale store, please don’t! Send them to me instead! I’ll take care of the shipping! Really appreciate your help in making our second year the best yet!

Vol. 2 Tip #13 Stop Comparing Yourself to Everyone else!

I spend a lot of time thinking about this thing called “self-esteem”. The idea of “self-esteem” was born sometime in the 19th century and has become a concept that has had a somewhat bumpy reputation. (Here’s a good little article that talks about the history of self-esteem , in case you’re curious!)

For my purposes, I use the term to describe how a person feels about themselves and the effect that this “feeling” has on their overall quality of life; How a person relates to others, what kinds of hobbies or activities they choose to pursue, the things that they tell themselves about themselves and the world around them, etc.

One thing that I’ve found really interesting when it comes to having a healthy self-esteem is how it can be gauged really accurately based on how much time and energy someone spends on comparing themselves to others. I think, that the only reason why anyone should be looking around to see what and how everyone is going is to learn from other’s mistakes, not to confirm that you are better than someone or obsess because you think someone is better than you. This type of thinking is a huge, HUGE waste of time!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Everyone has something to offer. Everyone! If you’re out and about wishing to be someone other than yourself, then you are likely not noticing the very things that make YOU special and that’s just wrong! So please, if you are caught up in the grass is greener mindset, or you’re spending too much time envying others, stop it! Focus on you and figure out what you have to offer. Then once you get that figured out, give that talent, interest or skill all of your attention so you can hone and get to be the best that you can be at it. The road to success is definitely in that direction and not in trying to be someone you’re not!

Vol. 2 Tip #12 Face Your Fears

I’ll be the first to admit that building a successful life can be scary. Why? Because you have to make a lot of decisions the outcomes of which depend greatly on things that you can’t control…which might mean that everything doesn’t go according to plan. And none of us love the idea of failure.

Fear of failure is probably one of the most common fears that humans deal with, but of course there are many others that can get in the way of us moving forward in life with confidence. From phobias to lack of confidence to fear of being judged, every day, we stop ourselves from doing what needs to be done not because we’d be doing the wrong thing, but because we’re afraid that we wouldn’t be doing the right thing.

Life is a whole lot of unknown and living in fear of anything (within reason) is a huge waste of time and energy. Commit today to facing down your fears, one at a time, and keep moving forward!

 

Be Specific to be Successful; Get help Prioritizing!

I recorded this video last December and am only now just getting around to posting it. Oops! :D In the video I reference my Build It Again Bricks project which, happily, I was able to complete and see come to fruition – check out my update about it here!

I can’t stress enough how important it is for people with ADHD to find one or two people who they can trust to help them prioritize (I call these people sympathetic enforcers). Fact is, being in idea-generating overdrive pretty much every single day can be both exhilarating and incredibly frustrating. It’s fun coming up with great ideas, isn’t it? And it’s even better to see something go from idea to physical reality, but when you have ADHD, the struggle with follow-through, planning, prioritizing, consistency and focus usually sabotages over 95% of the ideas we dream up. And that’s where having a sympathetic enforcer on your team can make all the difference!

Vol. 2 Tip #11; Have Hope!

Having hope that the future holds something better for you is vital to your success. You might have the skills, the talents and the abilities, but without hope, you just won’t get there. Hope is not just a feel-good emotion, but according to psychologists, it is a dynamic cognitive motivational system, translation? it’s the thing that keeps you going when life gets rough.

I thought I’d Never Say This, but…Reading is Good For You!

Growing us with Dyslexia was no fun for many reasons, but one I can recall with great certainty is how much I struggled with reading. Some kids hated gym, others despised math, me? I loathed English class and hated reading comprehension activities.

It’s no secret that when I started college, my reading and writing skills were so poor, I had to take English 099 my first semester. ..which in retrospect worked out great because next semester, I met my wife in English 101 when she transferred in. Let’s just say that God had a plan! The Russian was an avid reader and an A student when it came to English…even though English wasn’t her first language. I can’t say that we exactly bonded over our love of reading, but over the last 20 years of marriage, if not her love of reading, then at least her appreciation for the power of books has leaked over to me and now I’m a huge advocate of the written word.

If you’re not a fan of reading and you’re on this blog because of the videos, am I freaking you out yet? ;) Seriously, check out the video – I’ve got some good suggestions on how to make reading a little bit easier.

5 More Ways to Manage ADHD in the Classroom

I speak to a lot of educators and all of them are always looking for ways to better interact with their students. This is especially important when a handful of the students have special needs. This video is a continuation of my very own (goofy!) take on a great little article published on additudemag.com called 40 Best School Accommodations for your ADHD Child. Check out the first video in the series, here.