#109

by Ben GlennMusingsPosted on Comments are Disabled

My wife’s in London for the week & she LOVES it over there. (Getting worried she might not come back!) While she’s gone, I’ve been reminded how important it is to have a supportive spouse who gets ADHD & has the patience for it. Communication is key. What you say is as important as how you say it. Timing is crucial too.

One of the most important things to remember about any conversation is that sometimes what is said by one person and what is heard by the other person, can be completely two different things. Always clarify and never assume that your words have been received the way that you wanted them to come out. It’s better to spend an extra five minutes being redundant, than two hours fighting about the misunderstanding later.

#66

by Ben GlennMusingsPosted on One Comment

Tip from my wife: Being married to an ADHDer is a study in patience! It’s HARD to not want to come down on this person who just can’t seem to get their stuff together, but patience & kindness is more effective than yelling and guilt-mongering. Ask how u can help get the ball rolling. Then ask again & again & again.

My wife thinks that most ADHDers are messed up & have low self-esteem because ever since they were kids everyone has been yelling at them, telling them that they can’t do this right or that right, so it takes a while to “re-educate” them to start believing in themselves. And that doesn’t happen with more yelling and accusations of slackery and stupidity. She says, “tell the non-ADHD spouses that it is their responsibility to be an encourager and a helper. Being mean makes things worse.” I agree!