#52
A good buddy of mine, Kenn Kington, who by the way is a great comedian, (check him out!) gave me a good idea for setting obtainable goals. Instead of asking what it is you want to accomplish, ask yourself what would you be disappointed about NOT accomplishing. I think that re-frames the whole priority question well and can help some of us get to the bottom of what’s important to us.
Personally, I would be disappointed if I didn’t finish two more Quick Reads books by the end of the year. What about you?
#51
Setting realistic goals is one way to get & stay motivated. The trick is to learn how to break down long-term goals into smaller chunks so as to experience frequent bursts of achievement which will keep pushing us forward with the promise of reward. Of course breaking your goals into manageable chunks is harder than it sounds, but here’s an example to get you going. (I would love it if you would share one of your big goals and how you think it can be broken down to be achievable.)
Big Hairy Audacious Goal: Write a book
1. Pick a topic (reward: guilt-free Little Debbie Snack Cake!)
2. Figure out your audience (take a half day and go watch a movie at a movie theater)
3. Research other books in the market (big, juicy 12 OZ steak at your fave steak place)
4. Come up with a catchy title (go to Target and pick up a Star Wars Lego toy)
5. Write an outline (put together the above Lego toy and run around the house making Darth Vader sounds)
6. Write a page a day (treat yourself to a Starbucks Carmel Soy Latte when each chapter is complete)
7. First edit (instead of giving into despair at how bad you suck at writing, go buy a book about a favorite hobby, artist or musician and take a few days off from writing)
8. Get others to read it and make edits/suggestions (You’re so close you can taste it, take yourself off for a full day of fishing)
9. Edit again (if fishing is your thing, go fish again!)
10. Edit again (that expensive pair of jeans you’ve been eye-balling, yeah, go on, buy it. You’ve earned it!)
11. Edit one more time (it might be time for a good therapeutic neck massage – do it!)
12, Voila!! You’ve just written a book! Pull out all stops! Mega-party! There’s no stopping you now! You’ve done it! And the feeling of accomplishment is sweeter than all the things that you’ve rewarded yourself up to this point.
#50
One of my biggest struggles is prioritizing. The concept of “what’s important NOW” is often pushed aside by “what’s FUN NOW!?”. At the end of the day though, I am left with a pile of hard tasks and am overwhelmed and frustrated. Having “FUN” is hard-wired into ADHD brains like nothing else, but I’ve learned to use FUN as my reward and motivation for completing the tasks I set for myself. What motivates you?
#49
Time is our most precious commodity and if you’re like me, you’re really bad with putting together a schedule that is both practical and helps you achieve all your goals in the right order. I like to work with my wife (my sympathetic enforcer!) and put together a plan for the next day the night before. Knowing what my starting point is the moment I wake up often makes the difference between a productive day and one filled with time-wasting and frustration. How do you prioritize?
#48
Dora the Explorer has taught me some important life lessons including that a backpack can be a great organizational tool. I’ve tried using other types of bags & cases but nothing beats a good backpack. The perfect backpack has lots of pockets, each one designated for specific items. Unlike Dora I try not to fill mine with stuff I don’t need. 😀 And I try to empty it out every week.
#47
When in doubt, chuck it out! Clutter is the biggest organizational killer. If you don’t know the color of your desk, clutter may be an issue. I use three boxes to sort all my “papers”: an URGENT box, a THIS WEEK box and a SORT box. I try to go through them every week if I’m home; if I’m traveling though, my desk gets scary. 🙂
#46
Staying organized = keeping track of my essentials (keys, wallet, cell phone). I can’t tell you the number of times I have had to call my cell from a landline because I put it down somewhere and forgot where. How frustrating! I have trained myself to create a special spot for my essentials: at home it’s the top of the fridge; on the road, top of the hotel TV. I still have lapses occasionally, but not as often as before.
What’s the craziest place you’ve ever left your keys, phone or wallet? I left my phone in the freezer one time…i think i was looking for my Little Debbies in there…
#45
Two weeks of travel can wreak havoc on my “home schedule”. It takes me 3-4 days to readjust to home unless I plan ahead. Even though ADHDers tend to do well in fluid settings, we still need some structure to make getting and staying on task possible. Before going on a long trip, I write down where I left off on my top 2-3 projects and what needs to be done when I return. This is a great tool to help me get back on track with minimum drama.
If you’re a list-maker, it’s important to not make the list too long and expansive. A big to-do list will just overwhelm. Get your “sympathetic enforcer” to help with narrowing down the list to the most important and urgent items.
#44
ADHDers are very sensitive by nature, picking up on vibes people around them put out that others miss. Problem is we have a tendency to make what we’re sensing all about ourselves instead of the other person. And we tend to respond most strongly to “negative” vibes. It’s important to remember someone else’s funk might have NOTHING to do with us. Ask the other person “what’s wrong?” first, before jumping to conclusions and getting in a bad mood yourself.
#42
ADHDers are good at juggling multiple stimuli. We can be looking around, texting, humming a song and still hear every word of a conversation. Problem is to the other person, the lack of eye contact and the extra activities make it seem like we’re not listening or don’t care and that can be a turn-off.
Giving your full attention during a conversation shows interest and respect. It’s hard, but very important to make an effort to give people in your life your FULL attention, especially if they don’t understand what ADHD is all about. Once they learn that you can in fact hear what they’re saying while appearing to be engaged in other activities, communication will become easier, but until you cross that bridge, don’t be misjudged as uncaring or flaky – pay attention!
#41
Friendships usually grow out of common interests and become stronger as you spend more time together. Friendship is a contact sport so you have to get out and get involved. It can be scary, but have realistic expectations – do you really need a posse? or will one good, loyal friend meet your need for companionship? ADHDers tend to wear their hearts on their sleeve and can get hurt easily, but that’s a risk you need to take if you want to build meaningful relationships.
#40
At a camp several years ago, I asked a roomful of junior highers what was most important to them. Top of the list? Friends! (I’m sure friends are in the Top 5 no matter your age.) In this day of social media you know exactly how many friends you have – just check your Facebook profile, right? But how many of these people are true friends to you? So today’s thought is: What makes someone a true friend?
#39
I am half way through The Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Had to see for myself what all the fuss is about. The book is fun and funny and it got me thinking about getting back to journaling again. Of course I’m going to see the movie! This will be the first time in my life that I will read the book, before seeing the movie! My wife keeps telling me that the book is always better than the movie…what do you think?
#38
An Enemy Called Average by John Mason is an oldie, but a goodie. Filled with over 100 “nuggets” of motivation, each is no longer than two pages and some are just quick quotes. I like to randomly flip to a page and see what I find. Today: “Am I on the path to something marvelous, or something absolutely mediocre?” A good question to ask yourself on a daily basis!