If you pay attention to mainstream media and what it has to say about ADHD, you could easily assume that ADHD somehow disappears once you turn 18. Completely untrue! ADHD is not something that you “grow out of” and it very much persists into adulthood.
The big difference between kids and adults with ADHD is that usually by the time you’re out of college, you will have learned a myriad of coping skills and mechanisms (that you didn’t have as a kid) that help disguise the fact that you have it. If you were diagnosed as a kid, then some of these coping skills were taught to you intentionally, if you managed to get through school without being diagnosed (which is probably the majority of those who have ADHD and are forty and older), then you learned how to cope on your own. Either way, you’re no longer bouncing in your seat, screaming out answers at meetings, flinging Milk Duds at the back of someone’s head at the movies (or maybe you are?? In which case, we need to have a chat!). And that’s great! Learning how to manage some of those negative ADHD traits is vitally important if you want to get ahead in life. And it’s likely that most of your co-workers, acquaintances and even friends have no idea that you are an adult with ADHD. Sure, you’re a little quirky and always late, but you’re also funny, outgoing and full of great ideas. ADHD is probably not the first word that comes to mind when people think of you. HOWEVER. If do have ADHD, there is absolutely no way to disguise this fact from your significant other, especially if you’ve been in the relationship for an extended period of time.
I’ve been married for almost 20 years and let me just say that it’s been quite the adventure for both my wife and I. So I wanted to share some of the things I’ve learned and talk about some of the struggles in hopes that it helps you in your relationship. I’ll be working my way through topics like Finances, Communication, Parenting, Intimacy, In-Laws, and others, as well as trying to answer any questions that you want to ask.