#120
Most of us have a tendency to dwell on the negative in our lives; ADHDers even more so. That one mean comment or unpleasant conversation can swim around in our minds for days. Learn to let go. Don’t waste precious time obsessing about things you have no control over. Focus on the things that make you feel good; look for the positive! Have a great day today!
#105
It’s ADHD Awareness week and the only articles that I have seen in the press this whole month have been negative. Over-diagnosis, misdiagnosis, over-medication, bad parenting, lazy teachers…wow! Not a single glimmer of hope on the ADHD horizon! Now I know why I stopped following traditional media in the first place!! So. Anyone has anything positive to share? You know I do! 🙂
#99
ADHD can be hard on relationships. First, your friend/spouse/co-worker might not understand how the ADHD mind works & draw completely wrong assumptions about your behavior. Second, your low self-esteem could be sabotaging even the best relationships because you’ve come to believe that you’re just not good enough. What can you do?
1. Do not be ashamed to speak up and tell people that you have ADHD. Don’t joke about it (too much!). Ask the other person to hear you out and to reserve their judgment. Bring a printout that lists ADHD characteristics and show the other person. Plant the seed. This is just the beginning of helping educate them about ADHD and what it means to be in a relationship with someone who has it.
2. Sometimes, esp. if you are ashamed and have low self-esteem, it really is crucial to talk to a professional counselor. Some of us ADHDers have lived through years of being told we’re no good: lazy, stupid, irresponsible – those scars go deep. You need to get all that negativity OUT. Please!?
3. Always remember that ALL relationships require work. Some more than others, true, but all the same. Commit to the idea that you want to have healthy relationships. That you deserve to have them and that you can make it happen. As the other person starts “getting” you more, continue working on yourself and building yourself and the other person up. Positive synergy!! That is where it’s at! 🙂
#54
Positive feedback is a great motivator. I love to cook for people because the feedback is almost instantaneous (and usually good!). When I make something that knocks people’s socks off, it inspires me to come up with more exciting new recipes. Likewise, good feedback on my programs & blog posts inspires me to come up with new stuff on a more consistent basis.
If you have an ADHDer in your life, remember to give lots of feedback. I would say that positive feedback is more motivating than negative, but both are necessary. 🙂