Continuing on with my “HELP! I married someone with ADHD”, series (see intro post HERE), I want to stress the importance that listening & hearing plays in any relationship. It’s a well known fact that spouses of people with ADHD often feel like their partner does not listen to them. This may or may not be the actual reality, but there are some things you can do, both partners, to improve your time of conversation. I share some of those in the video. Check it out!
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My wife’s in London for the week & she LOVES it over there. (Getting worried she might not come back!) While she’s gone, I’ve been reminded how important it is to have a supportive spouse who gets ADHD & has the patience for it. Communication is key. What you say is as important as how you say it. Timing is crucial too.
One of the most important things to remember about any conversation is that sometimes what is said by one person and what is heard by the other person, can be completely two different things. Always clarify and never assume that your words have been received the way that you wanted them to come out. It’s better to spend an extra five minutes being redundant, than two hours fighting about the misunderstanding later.
Just read another article (from Adelaide, Australia) about parents of ADHD kids talking about the lack of understanding that the general population has about ADHD. Sigh. The worst part? The comments! People are not only ignorant, but just downright mean! And did I mention ignorant? If you know someone with ADHD or a parent with kids who have ADHD, go give them a hug right now. Seriously. They need it!
If you or someone you know suffers from any kind of “uncontrolled” brain dysfunction (including ADHD), there are simple steps that can be taken to help improve the situation. 1. Diagnosis 2. Self-education/education of family & friends, 3. Exploration of treatment options, 4. Counseling/Support group, 5. Ongoing evaluation.
Of the five, i believe education to be the most important. Knowledge is power. Understanding what’s happening to you gives you back some measure of control & allows you to make the right choices when there’s a fork in the road. Whether, you’re depressed, bi-polar or ADHD, learn to move past the stigma of “mental disease” and be open with others about your condition, educating them in the process and hopefully helping them, help you. (what movie??) Sorry got distracted. 😀